Sure - but I think I’m saying something more nuanced than this. In the cruel harsh reality of our world, yes, I think it would be naive to be surprised by all the things you mentioned, and yet I also think it’s appropriate to strive toward a world where those types of things aren’t tolerated, or at least, aren’t beyond reproach.
I look at this from the perspective of a gay men who takes in all kinds of suggestive Instagram content from entertainers, athletes, influencers etc. Imagery that provokes the imagination, to say the least. And yet I can’t fathom a world in which I would show up and engage with these guys in real life by haranguing them or demanding their attention in some outlandish way – and obviously, the salient difference at play is the gender dynamic: the people I find visually appealing are men, and, significantly, I would like to not get my face bashed in. That kind of fear isn’t present when a frat bro shows up to harass a woman. And that’s the parallel I see when I hear women saying they say they want some modicum of consideration as human beings, and that doesn’t fly out the window because they “used their sexuality to advance their interests” – it doesn’t mean they are now worthless, inhuman objects subject to all kinds of public tomfoolery. To me this is not a complicated duality to hold in my mind but a lot of people seem to find it mind blowing or paradoxical. I don’t think it’s an impossibly optimistic goal to aspire to.