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- #41
- Gerrit is angry with Simone and drags her to an empty room where there is no one cursing loudly. He pushes her with her back against the wall. He is standing right in front of her, against her, with his fists clenched to the left and right of her ears against the wall. He is bent over her, screaming loudly in her ear. She is stuck and has nowhere to go, there is no end to his screams. Inside she is panicking, outside she is shocked. She doesn't care what he says, she just wants him to be done. Nothing comes to her anymore, she doesn't react to anything and stands like a statue, but one from which thick tears drip. She barely dares to breath. Not reacting, makes Gerrit even angrier, but she just cannot respond anymore, she can only shut down to protect herself. Her brain has a short circuited, her body is blocked. "Goddammit," he screams loudly in her ear. She hears the sound of his fist pounding hard against the wall beside her ear. Gerrit sinks to his knees until he is squatting on the ground in front of her. He grabs the other hand with one of his hands, makes a soft moaning sound, and then continues shouting insults at Simone. Then he gets up and storms out of the classroom, cursing loudly. Simone stands frozen against the wall. She hears someone coming toward her and panics. Crying, hyperventilating, and completely confused, she runs to the restroom and locks the door behind her. Marja is banging on the door from the other side. "Open up!" she shouts angrily. "For god's sake, open that door! Gerrit needs to go to the hospital and it's your fucking fault!" Simone is too afraid to open the door, but Marja keeps banging and cursing. The longer she keeps the door locked, the angrier Marja becomes. Eventually, she opens the door anyway. "How the hell could you let it come to this! Gerrit has to go to the hospital, and you get your way." Simone is very confused by these words. Why did she get her way? How can Marja think of her like that? Marja is the only human factor in her life. She has such a huge need for an adult to put an arm around her and tell her that everything will be okay. Something cracks in Simone.
