UCLA, Alexis Jeffery, gymnasts calling out athletic director

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I totally agree with that. Some adult intervention was really called for here. It could actually have turned into a positive learning experience. For everyone. The fact is that minorities and persecuted groups DO get to use words which are just not ok for other people to use. But it’s also a fact that a person can sing along with a song like that and not mean anything unkind by it.
 
I once told my mom I hated her. I didn’t mean it, but I was angry about something I can’t even remember now. What I do remember is the look on her face after I said it. It haunts me all these decades later. What an awful, vicious thing to say. Whether you mean them or not, words can deeply wound.

Having said that, I rather someone say something awful to me than do something awful. Call me whatever you like, but don’t touch my stuff. And just so we’re clear - don’t hit me either.
 
Seyonne said:
It haunts me all these decades later. What an awful, vicious thing to say. Whether you mean them or not, words can deeply wound.
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This is an aside, but we all say terrible things to the people we love. I am sure your mother knew you did not mean it. Be as kind and gentle and forgiving with yourself as you are to others.
 
See this is where it’s a huge grey area. I would absolutely not be allowing ANY music in practices or whatever that have offensive slurs towards a certain race or people. I don’t care if people claim it’s okay for black people to use it only because they are “reclaiming it.” What about the black or POC gymnasts or staff or whoever who do find the slur offensive and aren’t “reclaiming” it. While I understand why it’s extra offensive for a non Black personal to be singing these lyrics, there should absolutely be no place for derogatory or racist music to be played and no one should be singing it out loud. If it’s offensive to be said at all it shouldn’t be in practice. Again I’m not defending AJ, but I also have heard that some of the senior gymnasts who have been more outspoken, were also bullying and hazing and treating AJ bad for months. Failure of the coaches and AD in my opinion.
 
Milkshakedonut said:
Again I’m not defending AJ, but I also have heard that some of the senior gymnasts who have been more outspoken, were also bullying and hazing and treating AJ bad for months. Failure of the coaches and AD in my opinion.
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Prior to this incident?
 
(My quote function is not working).

If she was being harassed before I’d guess there are other issues besides a word or words in a song.
 
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For a team that has preached “inclusivity” it certainly doesn’t seem very inclusive to me to play music that only certain team members are allowed to participate in. And if the above timeline is true, why play the music again a second time after the first incident? That just seems like the objective was to purposely provoke.

It’s a disgusting word, and in my opinion, it shouldn’t be said or sung by anyone no matter the color of your skin. It’s divisive at best. If you really want to promote inclusivity on your team, play music that is ok for everyone to sing and dance too. AJ should not have said it, no excuses. But it does not seam to me like the others are completely innocent in their actions either like it has been portrayed.
 
Gymmama said:
For a team that has preached “inclusivity” it certainly doesn’t seem very inclusive to me to play music that only certain team members are allowed to participate in. And if the above timeline is true, why play the music again a second time after the first incident? That just seems like the objective was to purposely provoke.
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Meme Reaction GIF by Robert E Blackmon
 
No, none of that. There’s no music that people can’t participate in; non-Black people just need to not say the N word. If you’re white, you can still listen to/enjoy Megan Thee Stallion without saying every word in her songs. Believe it or not, it’s really easy to choose not to say one word!

People shouldn’t have to change their taste in music simply because others are racist. I don’t think I’ve ever gone to the club and not heard the word played in songs–surely the DJ was not purposely attempting to provoke everyone???
 
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A club setting is much different than a gymnastics practice with a team that actively promotes themselves as inclusive to all. And I don’t see why artists can’t just remove or replace the word in their songs. It’s adds no artistic value.
 
See this is the version going around Instagram stories that I saw a few days ago. Team was listening to music together, AJ was singing along with team mates and while doing so sang the N word. A Bi-racial teammate made a comment that AJ can’t say that word in the song because she isn’t black. AJ says she is a POC as well (not sure what her mothers exact ethnicity is but her mom is darker skinned and whatever that’s not the point.) Does AJ personally identify as a POC? Is she lying? Who knows? Maybe her mom does have black ancestry somewhere in her mix. At what point is someone allowed to say a word or someone isn’t allowed too? Does the biracial team mate get a pass because she 50% black and only 50% white? My whole issue with this situation is music that includes derogatory and racial slurs against a race or group of people be it Black People, LGBQ people, etc shouldn’t be playing period. If it’s offensive to anyone at all… it’s out.
 
Milkshakedonut said:
A Bi-racial teammate made a comment that AJ can’t say that word in the song because she isn’t black. AJ says she is a POC as well (not sure what her mothers exact ethnicity is but her mom is darker skinned and whatever that’s not the point.) Does AJ personally identify as a POC? Is she lying? Who knows? Maybe her mom does have black ancestry somewhere in her mix. At what point is someone allowed to say a word or someone isn’t allowed too? Does the biracial team mate get a pass because she 50% black and only 50% white? M
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You make an important point. Points actually. What % of non white blood would someone need to sing those lyrics and not be called racist? I mean in Nazi Germany (I can criticize them since I am half German) I think you were Jewish if you had one Jewish grandparent. Should we start dividing ourselves up on that kind of racial purity line? And at what percentage of non black blood does the penalty for a transgression become you get your clothes sprayed with bleach?
 
Your’re right. It’s offensive either way. But, and maybe I’m the one splitting hairs now, I think there’s a difference between tossing it out in and edge-lordy, I’m So Clever And This Word Isn’t Actually Offensive way, and using it assuming it’s a racist slur. A difference between being an obnoxious prat and being racist. At the end of the day I guess it doesn’t matter, and having thought about the matter for a good 30 seconds, I think that you’re all right that she most likely thinks it’s related to the n-word.
 
Yes, it’s definitely a different environment. I don’t mean to confuse the two.

Perhaps artists for whom the word is a part of their regular vernacular feel that not using the word in their songs would be disingenuous.

And @JaJa, you don’t need to be German to criticize Nazi Germany. Also, likely no one sprayed her clothes with bleach because she’s non-Black??? What are you insinuating?
 
I know I don’t have to be German to criticize Germany. I was being facetious.
 
rlayt said:
I have to fault the UCLA staff who didn’t mediate and intervene after the gymnasts complained. It might not have escalated if there had been. The situation never should have gotten so out of hand.
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I agree. NCAA coaches are famous for not promoting cultural sensitivity or inclusion. So I’m not at all surprised this mess happened.
 
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