Chalked Up: Inside Elite Gymnastics' Merciless Coaching, Overzealous Parents, Eating Disorders, and Elusive Olympic Dreams

[IratePanda]

@QuietColours , again, thank you for summarizing this, and your thoughts at the end.

Given the way she talks about others in the book, how much she thinks of herself, and how it seems nothing is ever her fault, I can just imagine how unbearable she must be in person.

I know people like her, including my FIL. Luckily, I only see him a few times a year, and I pretend he's a piece of furniture. I would do the same to Jen Sey if she were a family member. If she were a colleague, I would keep my distance. She would never be a friend. Someone that toxic can't be a friend.

 

[KristyJ]

I know I am a couple days late in replying-- family visited from out of town and took all my time-- but did anyone else get the sense that she gave up on herself and may've subconciously thrown her career away because she didn't think she could do it? I get that she was going through an incredibly abusive situation, and that it must've been supremely satisfying to walk out on Donna Strauss after the weight comments, and that she was constantly injured, and all that worked against her, but the backing out of gym or even the allowing herself food and boys on tour when she'd have previously thought those were not for her (even though the dichotomy is false) happened so quickly after she heard / focussed on negative comments about her win, could it be she kind of chose not to find out? Of course she wouldn't say that if this conjecture has any truth to it.

It just seems like such an abrupt switch.

Agreed with all the takes that she is incredibly harsh towards others in a way she is not with herself, and that she must be a very difficult person with whom to interact.

 

[makam]

It could have definitely been some self-sabotage. She had reached the top and probably knew it was kind of a fluke and she was unlikely to repeat even without everyone telling her. And with her personality type, i don't think she could have handled falling back to mid pack if she has put in as much effort as previously. She wasn't stupid, she had to have seen how much easier it seemed for some of the other athletes and while the 10 system can keep some gymnasts with marginal difficulty in the mix, the writing was on the wall that new hotness was coming in.

Though her and the other comeback athlete just deciding to have fun was probably the healthiest reaction in the whole book.

 

[KristyJ]

Though her and the other comeback athlete just deciding to have fun was probably the healthiest reaction in the whole book.

Strongly agree with this

 

[QuietColours]

She talks about getting the 'spins' and losing her air awareness and that there was only one coach who had patience to help her deconstruct and relearn her skills, but Mrs. Strauss didn't seem interested in letting him help her.

It really seems she hit a wall of mental blocks on the realization she was going to have to hold the impossible standard of National Champion for two more years and developed a number of mental blocks while losing faith in herself, her family, and her coaches. She probably could have gone on to do well I. The quad, even if that didn't mean making the 88 team, if she had had the right support.

I don't think she was ever as good as she thought she was, but her career also didn't need to end the way it did.

 

[ruby]

It's super interesting what some of you get from the book summary. Or have all of you read it? To me she comes across as quite self-aware and extremely critical of herself. Retelling what it all was like for her and without much filter and reflection which actually makes it super interesting. The way she described other gymnasts is basically just a reflection of how everyone was labelled back then. My "career" took place in the 90s and early 00s and we all knew our place. Coaches were neither diplomatic nor nice about what they thought of us and by extension gymnasts weren't either. It was all so normal and accepted, I get why her book wasn't well received. I'd like to read it though - I wonder if that would change how she comes across to me.

 

[IratePanda]

I read it when it was first published. My initial impression hasn't changed.

 

[Concorde]

It's super interesting what some of you get from the book summary. Or have all of you read it? To me she comes across as quite self-aware and extremely critical of herself. Retelling what it all was like for her and without much filter and reflection which actually makes it super interesting. The way she described other gymnasts is basically just a reflection of how everyone was labelled back then. My "career" took place in the 90s and early 00s and we all knew our place. Coaches were neither diplomatic nor nice about what they thought of us and by extension gymnasts weren't either. It was all so normal and accepted, I get why her book wasn't well received. I'd like to read it though - I wonder if that would change how she comes across to me.

I agree with your assessment.

 

[crdubb17]

I saw back in the thread someone wondered what some of the gymnasts in the book thought of her.

Angie’s quick response around Jen is here. LOL! Around 20:30 mark. Also, this series was excellent! Joyce Wilburn is also in this interview, and she trained at Parkettes around that time (I don’t recall her being mentioned in the book).

 

[KristyJ]

It's super interesting what some of you get from the book summary. Or have all of you read it? To me she comes across as quite self-aware and extremely critical of herself. Retelling what it all was like for her and without much filter and reflection which actually makes it super interesting. The way she described other gymnasts is basically just a reflection of how everyone was labelled back then. My "career" took place in the 90s and early 00s and we all knew our place. Coaches were neither diplomatic nor nice about what they thought of us and by extension gymnasts weren't either. It was all so normal and accepted, I get why her book wasn't well received. I'd like to read it though - I wonder if that would change how she comes across to me.

I read the book through (a re-read) at the same time Quiet Colors was doing these summaries. I will be honest that my take on the way she spoke about other gymnasts was much worse than it was 20 years ago. I think I was still too close to the culture when I read the book the first time to be able to pick out just how poisoned her words could be. Quiet Colors did a good job of not perpetuating some of the worse statements. Yes, we all heard these things back in the 90s but to repeat them in such a cold, unfiltered, graceless way seems tactless. She could've said things like "the coaches thought" or "compared to the supposed ideal" instead of "she was larger and lumbered through her routines" and similar. (I went and looked up the gymnast mentioned there and there was no lumbering, I found her gymnastics to be quite pleasant.) Instead she chose to state things like "she was lazier" or "she was the fattest" without any qualifier whatsoever and it's just harsh. If I was one of those athletes I would be livid, and frankly feel like I'd had another bit of verbal abuse hurled at me.

 

[JDB]

Reading it as a teenager caused me to overlook how judgemental Sey's writing was.

 

[QuietColours]

I saw back in the thread someone wondered what some of the gymnasts in the book thought of her.

Angie’s quick response around Jen is here. LOL! Around 20:30 mark. Also, this series was excellent! Joyce Wilburn is also in this interview, and she trained at Parkettes around that time (I don’t recall her being mentioned in the book).

Approximate transcript of the relevant portion (Numberblocks is blaring in the background, so apologies if it's not quite exact):

Interviewer: I was reading through one of your national teammates retrospective books.

Angie: You’re talking about Jennifer Sey? Girl…

Interviewer: Quick pause here. Jennifer Sey was an elite gymnast, a white girl who came up with Angie at gym called Will-Moor. In her autobiography, Jennifer writes about her own fierce competitiveness, and how she was specifically spurred by her desire to triumph over Angie. In her book, Jennifer calls Angie her best friend but also seethed with jealousy any time Angie succeeded. Jennifer accused Will-Moor coaches of favoritism, she referred to Angie as “strong but stupid,” and compared the shape her own butt to—and I quote directly here--“Angie’s horse-like hindquarters.” Why are we talking about this? Because this is part of the experience of being a black girl in this sport in the 80s and beyond. Whether you were a national champion like Dianne, a balance beam champion like Angie, or an elite gymnast that never medaled. Okay, that should catch you up. Back to it.

Angie: You’re talking about Jennifer Sey? Girl. You know, she worked out with me, honey, so I grew up with her.

Interviewer: Mmhmm.

Angie: And y’all, that troll didn’t bother me not one bit. Not one bit. And I just let her do her thing, and do all her crying. I was like, I’m not here for the Hollywood. I’m here for the fun.

Interviewer: Hmmm

Angie: Most of them, the gymnasts, they respected me. It was usually the coaches who were in their feelings, and they wanted to have their status up there and they wanted to have the most amount of athletes at that level. So it was almost like it was a competition within the coaching staff—in the coaches. They were a mess. (laughs) And they wouldn’t have been able to handle me because I was not the one—you know, pretty much try to break me and mistreat me. They didn’t want none of that smoke, honey, none of that smoke.

Interviewer: Angie’s talking about Bela...

 

[IratePanda]

I listened to most of that podcast last night. It renewed my respect for Durham, Denkins, and Wilborn. It also made me so sad for Durham. I still wish she'd competed in the '84 Olympics.

 

[Amber]

I read the book when it came out and kind a felt sorry for her, she had a miserable time. However, I hated her contribution to Athelete A with a passion (still do) WTF is she to talk for Kerri? That is what made that docu wothless to me, her narrating how Kerri made her decision and how she felt and feels (the arrogance and entitlement), as well as including Jessica (gymcastic) in there who knows absolutely nothing about gymnastics and is only there to stirr drama. I prefer other docu’s regarding this situation. Afterwards I re-read her book and was finally able to see the person behind the gymnast, which is not pretty..