Chalked Up: Inside Elite Gymnastics' Merciless Coaching, Overzealous Parents, Eating Disorders, and Elusive Olympic Dreams

[MaryClare]

Was she injury-prone or was she severely malnourished making her extremely susceptible to all these injuries?

Ok, I am going to sound really horrible. But for as much as Sey talks about going to extreme lengths to lose weight, she just doesnt look that small, nor does she look particularly athletic. What height was she when competing? I'll bet there are plenty gymnasts the same height who look much leaner but still healthy

 

[IratePanda]

Ok, I am going to sound really horrible. But for as much as Sey talks about going to extreme lengths to lose weight, she just doesnt look that small, nor does she look particularly athletic. What height was she when competing? I'll bet there are plenty gymnasts the same height who look much leaner but still healthy

She was about 5'3", and her weight seemed to fluctuate from 95 to 110 lbs.

My mom, never one to mince words, remarked during the '86 US Championships telecast that Sey was "awfully big for a gymnast."

 

[MaryClare]

She was about 5'3", and her weight seemed to fluctuate from 95 to 110 lbs.

My mom, never one to mince words, remarked during the '86 US Championships telecast that Sey was "awfully big for a gymnast."

She looks like the body type that doesnt build muscle easily. Usually at the beginning, they can keep up with their peers but as the difficulty level increases they struggle. It was always explained to me that if a gymnast looks slow and sluggish, it is because the muscle ratio is too low. Which is why it is often the case after injury or extended time off. The gymnasts who are able to comeback with relative ease is because they naturally retain muscle or have been able to maintain their fitness levels through other physical activity.

I mean, this could all be nonsense, some of my colleagues believe some weird things. But it does make sense.

 

[IratePanda]

She looks like the body type that doesnt build muscle easily. Usually at the beginning, they can keep up with their peers but as the difficulty level increases they struggle. It was always explained to me that if a gymnast looks slow and sluggish, it is because the muscle ratio is too low. Which is why it is often the case after injury or extended time off. The gymnasts who are able to comeback with relative ease is because they naturally retain muscle or have been able to maintain their fitness levels through other physical activity.

I mean, this could all be nonsense, some of my colleagues believe some weird things. But it does make sense.

Yes, it does. I wonder if she would have had more success in competitive swimming. It's suitable for all body types. Some of the best swimmers I know don't look remotely athletic, but magic happens as soon as they enter the water.

 

[MaryClare]

Yes, it does. I wonder if she would have had more success in competitive swimming. It's suitable for all body types. Some of the best swimmers I know don't look remotely athletic, but magic happens as soon as they enter the water.

Yes. Like Penguins

 

[rlayt]

Yes and some women rugby players who are sensational don’t have a lot of muscle definition.

 

[makam]

It was always explained to me that if a gymnast looks slow and sluggish, it is because the muscle ratio is too low.

Not my field, but anecdotally, I am very out of shape and tried some sprints this summer and it felt like I was running through syrup. I was pushing as hard as I could and am pretty sure a 6 year old could outrun me.

Sey doesn't look bad in her gymnastics, necessarily, just pedestrian. I'm not sure what healthy outlet her personality type would have benefited from but, man, everyone was failing her over and over. And while I am a fan of everyone being allowed to do what they love, people should have been honest with her about her prospects. Since they weren't able to cater to different strengths like they do a little better these days, they should have dialed it back with her and let her get obssessed with school or something. (Not sure that she had any particular strengths though, she definitely isn't as elegant and graceful as advertised though maybe that disappeared as her difficulty increased or with the move to parkettes.)

 

[KristyJ]

Ok, I am going to sound really horrible. But for as much as Sey talks about going to extreme lengths to lose weight, she just doesnt look that small, nor does she look particularly athletic. What height was she when competing? I'll bet there are plenty gymnasts the same height who look much leaner but still healthy

I honestly wonder if the idea that laxatives were so helpful hurt her, too. Bodies learn how to retain the calories they get more efficiently with bulimia.... Laxatives help water weight but don't really do much for long term body composition, and her body would've been hanging on to every last calorie it got on "binge" days.

 

[QuietColours]

Chapter 23

• Championships
  • Goal was to make the top 8 and qualify for the first Goodwill Games
  • Ankle was a swollen, mysterious mess with no diagnosis
  • Felt confident. Armed with cortisone, painkillers, and a lot of athletic tape–she was broken but tougher than ever
  • Ten Parkettes were qualified; three had a chance of making the Goodwill Games
  • People were surprised when Jen showed up–many didn't know about her appearance at Nationals a month before, and many still believed the Worlds injury was the end of her career
  • Two new contenders
    • Doe Yamashiro, one of Don Peters' gymnasts, was the one to beat. Graceful, strong, and technically perfect. He'd been spreading the word about her for months, and while she had no equity in the gymnastics world, he did.
    • Hope Spivey, Bill Strauss' favorite. Wasn't sure she'd stand up under pressure (had a naive attitude that made you wonder if she knew there was pressure). Had the most difficulty of anyone there–definitely more than Jen
    • Other honorable mentions: Sabrina Mar, last year's winner; Yolanda Mavity and Maria Roethlisberger, who had been on the Worlds Team; Angie
  • Real stars were the junior competitors, under 14s who couldn't compete in major competitions yet
    • Kristy Phillips and Phoebe Mills, Bela's girls, were considered the future of American gymnastics
    • The seniors were being called tweeners–almost over the hill but not quite yet
    • The younger girls were good competitors with lots of difficulty
  • Everyone had their own strengths–Jen's were consistency and her new fearlessness, which had let her master the Tkachev, have a double back off beam, multiple double backs on floor. It narrowed the gap between her and Hope
• Competition
  • Was in second place after day 1, mirroring her placement at Worlds Trials
  • Optionals would be harder–her ankle hurt and she never knew when a landing would take her out for the day. The femur injury still hurt as well, because of scar tissue that grew in by the right knee as the bone healed. It made the knee creaky and jagged, grinding with every movement
  • Jen, John, and her parents never questioned if she should continue pursuing the dream of winning. Winning what? Anything
  • Second day
    • Started on beam, her best event. She didn't worry about falling and earned a 9.6, putting her in first at the end of the rotation
    • Forgot her floor music for a split second after hitting her starting pose, but it came back when she heard the first note. Landed her lay out pike perfectly, but it made her ankle hurt enough that she questioned if she could finish the routine. But since she had the chance to win, she kept going. She watered down the routine–she doesn't know what to–because she could barely walk. Finished with a full twist instead of a double back. Started crying as soon as she saluted
    • John knew what had happened and approached her with tape to get through the last two events. Only he could tape it tight enough. One more tough one, just get through vault and bars will be easy
    • Floor got a 9.25–not bad with all the improvisation, she'd gotten the benefit of the doubt
    • Only had to do one vault–the top score was taken, not the average. She didn't do a warmup. John could catch her if necessary. Landed the tsuk full on one foot, then John picked her up to make sure she didn't put weight on the left ankle. She got a mid-9 and didn't do a second vault
    • John retaped the ankle. Jen had to jog into her bars mount and land the dismount from about 12 feet. She took her warmup and caught the Tkachev
    • None of the other girls were as hungry and desperate to win as she was
    • Hope and Doe had beam as their last events.
      • Beam was Hope's weakest event. Jen turned away when Hope, shaky, went for her first tumbling run–she didn't want Hope to miss, she wanted to win fairly. She heard the gasp, turned and saw Hope standing the ground. Hope got an 8.8
      • Beam was one of Doe's best events, but she didn't have much experience. She also fell on a tumbling run and got an 8.55
    • Jen bit the blister in her lip. She just had to stay on the bars. When she saluted the judges, she knew she would win. Hit a good routine, landed on one foot. John might have caught her before she actually landed, but the judges didn't care
  • Everyone cried–Jen, John, the Strausses. The other girls tackled her. Everything had been worth it for that moment, even though she had to accept her gold medal on crutches

Chapter 24

• Post competition
  • Signed hundreds of autographs with her foot in an ice bucket
  • Ignored the coaches whispering that she only won because others fell, or that Kristy Phillips was the real champion
  • Knew the upcoming year would be unkind
  • Accepted congratulations from her male counterpart, Tim Daggett
  • She'd always been the come-from-behind girl, and now she was on top. Anything less than first from here on out would be a failure. The heaviness and sadness of it set in almost immediately
  • Flew to her brother's first national competition. She didn't usually attend his meets, but this one was him making his entry into real competition. And she needed to rest her ankle and knee
  • Chris was 14 and nervous, but all eyes were on Jen in the stands. The little sisters of the boys flocked to her. When her brother vaulted, he was announced as "Chris Sey, currently in 27th place. His sister, Jennifer Sey, the new national champion, is in the audience. Jennifer, could you stand up, please!" She rarely thought about his feelings, but she knew that had to hurt. She sheepishly stood and waved, and she could see his dejection from across the gym. He would always be second
• Summer Tour
  • Was part of the European World Tour that kicked off with the Goodwill Games in Moscow, followed by exhibitions in Italy and France with their national teams
  • Performed respectably as a team, getting 5th place. Jen got top spots in the rotations
  • The remaining tour was all fun–saw the sights, got drunk for the first time, flirted with a college boy on the men's team, Chuck Gerardo. She finally got what that kissing stuff was all about (but no clothes came off)
  • Doe didn't attend the tour, she went home after the Moscow competition because of a bad back. Thought Don sent her home so he could keep her to himself–he was clearly enamored with her. It was rumored there was something going on between them. Doe was a quiet girl who kept to herself or stayed with Don most of the time when they were in Russia, lending weight to the rumors.
    • Even Mrs. Strauss thought it might be true
    • They would joke about it. Someone would say, "Where's Doe?" and they'd all fall over laughing
    • No one intervened or asked Don about it
• Return home
  • Had gained weight from delicious food and the lack of weigh-ins and was now 107. An older man who watched their practices said, "Wow, you've gotten really heavy. What are you up to, 110?"
  • She needed to lose the 6 pounds she'd gained
  • Gloom and frustration set in. She had to maintain this intensity for two more years. X-rays of her ankle continued to show nothing. She was a senior in high school and would have to delay college. She wanted out
  • Depression set in and turned into mental blocks, losing skills she'd had for years. She calls it the "spins", not uncommon among seasoned gymnasts–she had no sense of air awareness and had many scary crashes, and so refused to try anything. She was so overweight she couldn't do skills a 9 year old could do. Her coaches were furious. John felt betrayed.
    • John: You're not even trying! What the hell is the matter with you!
    • Mrs. Strauss: Jesus, Sey! You're throwing it all away. No wonder you can't do anything. You're fat!
  • Rug burns on her nose sent her to the nurse's office for more questions about domestic abuse
  • She questioned–why do this anymore? She hurt all the time. It was draining. She was tired.
  • Laxative use turned into abuse, going through at least a 24 pack a week and hoarded packs to make sure she didn't run out. Her weight hovered around 105, sometimes going up to 107. Anything over 100 was disgusting to her. She was huge around the 80 pound sprites. Her body fat remained around 3 percent, but she was convinced she was obese. Mrs. Strauss would yell that she could see the fat on her, how could Jen do this to herself after all they'd done
  • John had started coaching a younger, happy girl on another set of bars. Mrs. Strauss looked like she wanted to kick Jen but walked away muttering obscenities. Jen believed the things she said, that she deserved abuse and abandonment, that she was nothing.

 

[MaryClare]

An older man who watched their practices said, "Wow, you've gotten really heavy. What are you up to, 110?"

F*CKING HELL.

 

[irichluck21]

Doe didn't attend the tour, she went home after the Moscow competition because of a bad back. Thought Don sent her home so he could keep her to himself–he was clearly enamored with her. It was rumored there was something going on between them. Doe was a quiet girl who kept to herself or stayed with Don most of the time when they were in Russia, lending weight to the rumors.

• Even Mrs. Strauss thought it might be true
• They would joke about it. Someone would say, "Where's Doe?" and they'd all fall over laughing
• No one intervened or asked Don about it

I am physically ill at this, given what we now know.

 

[QuietColours]

One thing I do want to be clear about on that--Doe and Jen became close during college. Doe was a bridesmaid at Jen's wedding and attended the birth of her first child, and she is thanked extensively in the acknowledgements. While it's not explicitly stated in the book, it very much seems the content about her was included her permission.

 

[MaryClare]

I found this article that Jennifer Sey wrote about Don Peters in 2011. It is quite eerie to think about what we now know the national team was going through at that point.

Why my coach got away with sexual abuse - Salon.com

A champion gymnast -- the first to blow the whistle on a national coach -- on why parents and athletes stay silent

www.salon.com

 

[QuietColours]

Chapter 25

• Good things in 1986-1987
  • Honored with the Olympic Committee's Athlete of the Year award for gymnastics
    • Mrs. Strauss kept it a secret and was vague about it when they flew to Saint Louis, so she didn't know how to prepare
    • She was confused about the banquet and shocked when she was called up to the podium. It brought back some of the pride she'd felt month's earlier
• Got a boyfriend. Mike was a junior with a bad boy reputation. She didn't really know what that meant, but it sounded good. He was cute and nice to her and enamored with her little-girl body–what she thought was bulky and repulsive he found delicate and sweet. He was also taken with her dedication and stature in the town–she was famous to him
  • The relationship started innocently–he liked Alyssa, one of her house mates. They had arranged a Friday date, but Alyssa went home that weekend and was too shy to cancel, asking Jen to tell him instead. He asked Jen out instead
  • She put on her cutest jeans, with zippers at the ankles, and got ice cream (for him), talked, and played miniature golf. Four hours later, he asked what they'd do about Alyssa. Jen had no idea how to handle the situation–she liked him and he liked her, and Alyssa was her friend. They decided not to say anything and see what happened.
  • Alyssa knew immediately, feigned anger, and then released him.
  • Spent entire weekends together–Friday night football games, Saturday night parties Jen had never been invited to. Mike would nurse a beer, knowing drinking made Jen uncomfortable. Sundays at his house watching sports
  • He was rumored to be a heavy drinker and sometime drug user, but she never saw bad behavior on his part, though his breathe often smelled antiseptic in the morning (cinnamon gum obscuring whiskey). In her mind, his sobriety with her was proof he really liked her
  • Enjoyed fooling around. She allowed them to remove all clothes, but not to have PIV sex. She was tied to the idea of herself as a girl, not a woman. Mike was frustrated with this.
  • When his parents got home they'd be disheveled and of course they knew, but they liked her. She was recognized locally for her accomplishments and got straight As, and they thought she was a good influence on Mike, who got in trouble at school
  • Had fun even when they weren't fooling around. And he always listened to her talk about gym. He didn't understand why she couldn't just quit. He always did what he wanted to do without worrying about consequences. But Jen couldn't explain why she couldn't quit; she'd just cry
• Chris didn't like Mike
  • He made it clear he didn't approve of the relationship. He probably didn't like Jen very much either. So he decided to interfere
  • He had a lot of friends, mostly from well-to-do families who attended nearby prep schools (Chris went to the public). Chris continued to have a stream of pretty girlfriends
  • He heard rumors about Mike that Jen didn't; that he was still a drunk, that he got in fights at parties Jen didn't attend; that Mike cheated and got blow jobs from other girls while Jen was away at competitions
  • She thinks Chris really wanted to protect her but also got a spiteful thrill from this
  • He "forgot" to tell Jen when Mike called the house.
  • Chris didn't realize that at this point Jen was willing to let him have the spotlight; she would have wanted him to take the family's focus so she could sit quietly on the couch with Mike. She felt more content with Mike than with anyone since she was very young, and he was her only ally
• Parental neglect
  • Her parents weren't paying attention to her depression and obvious self abuse. They didn't notice the lethargy, insomnia, laxative abuse, or starvation diet. They ignored any part of her life not related to the gym. They never asked about Mike and pretended she didn't have a boyfriend.
  • All that mattered was that she was the national champion with two years until the Olympics and Chris was a struggling gymnast. He didn't understand why Jen would want to give up what she had in the gym and thought it would be squandering her fortune and star position in the family
  • Ultimately, she learned the things Chris told her about Mike were true. She could excuse the drinking and drug use but not the cheating. She broke up with him even though she believed she still loved him. She couldn't stand the whispers–she couldn't be a sucker
  • Her parents never asked what had happened
• What next
  • Didn't seriously entertain the idea of quitting–too many sunk costs. But Mike had provided a needed escape and showed her a bit of the world outside of just gymnastics
  • After the breakup, she had no support and her depression deepened. Conflict increased at home as she fought with her mother, creating a rift that would last for years
  • Caught her mother going through her laxative stash but chose not reveal herself. Her mother just refolded the clothes and put them neatly back on the stash. Neither of her parents ever mentioned it to her. To this day, she and her mother have never spoken of it
  • Jen and her father didn't fight–his commitment to her gymnastics was less rigorous.
  • Mrs. Strauss threw her out of the gym until she lost three pounds and the fighting with her mother increased, but the week without practice let Jen see a little bit of what life could be without gymnastics, and it wasn't so bad. No daily pain and fear of humiliation. She considered just going to college instead of training for the Olympics
  • She told her mom, who told her:
    • "No! You won't!" she screamed.
    • I was dumbstruck. "It's my choice!" I raged. I believed that it was indeed my choice, that could choose to quit and life with the potential regret.
    • She struck back. "No it isn't! You'll regret it. I won't let it happen! You're going back to the gym on Monday!" Though I was nearly 18 years old, my mom acted as if I were a child of ten and she wielded total control over decisions. In many ways I was mature beyond my years, but I was dependent and, to date, unrebellious.
  • Told her mother that she wouldn't lose weight and they wouldn't take her back in the gym. It was her first real act of independence. Her mother lost control and threatened to starve her. "You're not going to throw this away after all the time and money we've spent! Not after moving to this godforsaken town!"
  • Jen grabbed and shook her mother. She knew she was stronger and could hurt her, but she just couldn't do it.
  • It would have taken very little for one of her parents to defuse the situation. A simple, "It's going to be okay. Whatever happens, it will be okay" might have done it. But her mother had dedicated her whole life to Jen's career, and her father was complicit.

 

[QuietColours]

Chapter 25 (continued)

• Championships 1987
  • Almost didn't attend–could barely perform simple routines. She managed to secure her spot at championships, pulling out a 3rd place finish in the first qualifier–she could still pull out a routine under competition pressure
  • Things had worsened a lot since then. Audrey Schweyer, a visiting judge, had shown her disgust when Jen fell twice on a beam routine at home, and told her that her bangs made her face look fat, and that doing gymnastics at her weight was like doing it with a ten pound bag of sugar strapped to them. Jen went again and fell again.
  • She recommended that Jen not attend Nationals, and Mrs. Strauss agreed
  • A few months later Schweyer was arrested for shoplifting a cheap costume necklace
  • Alone in the gym, she had 1:1 coaching with a new coach, Fico. His patience let her relearn some bars moves. Fico had been a gymnast and understood how some things could be unlearned and relearned
  • Mrs. Strauss came back early to check on her and was furious at the lack of practice (she had only regained the stalder full). Fico told Mrs. Strauss to have patience. Mrs. Strauss responded by saying Jen was disgusting and asking what she weighed in at that day
  • Jen stood up for herself–grabbed her gym bag and sneakers and left
  • She thought she'd be expelled, but faced with showing up at Championships without the national champion, Bill Strauss called that night to apologize for his wife and begged her to come back
  • Her new approach was to try anything they asked hoping she'd injury herself. Unfortunately (?), recklessness and just throwing tricks without thinking restored her skills. She was flying again, but the joy of it was gone
  • Two weeks before Championships she decided she was finished. She took half a pack of laxatives in a go trying to incapacitate herself; she didn't make it to the toilet in time, leaving a trail of feces as a new girl was touring the house
  • When she told her mother she wouldn't attend Championships, her mother told her she wouldn't attend her high school graduation, that she was a failure, that nothing she'd accomplished mattered if she didn't stick it out to 1988. Jen pushed her into a wall
  • Her father got her mother to attend the graduation and Jen to attend Championships. Michelle Dusserre, a 1984 Olympian who'd also struggled with injuries and comebacks was in her rotation group, and they agreed they would just have fun at the competition
  • She had more fun than she'd ever had. Mrs. Schweyer repeated what she'd told Jen at Parkettes about the bag of sugar. Jen did a Yurchenko 1/1 on vault and hit most everything else, only falling on bars. She placed 7th and qualified for the World team
  • Kristy Phillips won as expected and became Sports Illustrated youngest cover athlete, "The New Mary Lou". The next she would also miss the Olympic team. She would try a come back at 27, which Jen interpreted as an inability to find her place in the world beyond gymnastics and pitiful.
  • Jen was satisfied with her performance at Championships and proud of her performance. Many champions failed to even make the team the year after their victory–Sabrina Mar, Kristie Phillips

 

[IratePanda]

"

• Kristy Phillips won as expected and became Sports Illustrated youngest cover athlete, "The New Mary Lou". The next she would also miss the Olympic team. She would try a come back at 27, which Jen interpreted as an inability to find her place in the world beyond gymnastics and pitiful.

Sheesh. I wonder what Sey thinks of Chusovitina.

 

[MaryClare]

"

• Kristy Phillips won as expected and became Sports Illustrated youngest cover athlete, "The New Mary Lou". The next she would also miss the Olympic team. She would try a come back at 27, which Jen interpreted as an inability to find her place in the world beyond gymnastics and pitiful.

Sheesh. I wonder what Sey thinks of Chusovitina.

Hmmm. Whilst Chusovitina’s career is extraordinary, she still competes because it brings her more income than anything else realistically can. So whilst she is physically still able to, it makes financial sense. I’m not saying that she doesn’t enjoy it, but to me her longevity is bittersweet

 

[IratePanda]

Hmmm. Whilst Chusovitina’s career is extraordinary, she still competes because it brings her more income than anything else realistically can. So whilst she is physically still able to, it makes financial sense. I’m not saying that she doesn’t enjoy it, but to me her longevity is bittersweet

I take your point, but I doubt that Sey would. She'd probably say that Chusovitina is too stupid and lazy to find a real job.

 

[QuietColours]

I wonder how she feels about the latest set of multi-quad Olympians and their post-Olympic career of gymnast-influencer. I'm guessing not too complementary.

 

[IratePanda]

I wonder how she feels about the latest set of multi-quad Olympians and their post-Olympic career of gymnast-influencer. I'm guessing not too complementary.

She's probably jealous AF.