Landing on My Feet: A Diary of Dreams by Kerri Strug

[RedBirdie]

The idea of anyone thinking Kerri Strug was more talented than Shannon Miller is absolutely laughable.

Kerri sure seems to get these subtle little digs in at Shannon, doesn't she?

 

[Big_rock_show]

I noticed Shannon's mom taking subtle digs at Kerri, too. Like how she felt a little bitter than Kerri got so much attention after Atlanta. They must have not been best friends

 

[RedBirdie]

Claudia got digs in at a lot of people, she had so many grievances. Lady, your daughter won consecutive world championships, 7 olympic medals, first American to medal in the AA at a non-boycotted games.......it just came off as so petty!

But does she harbor lasting grievances at the psycho coach she subjected her daughter to? Oh no, of course not. Just like Kerri when it comes to the Karolyis. So much easier to be spiteful towards children than actual adult abusers.

All that to say, I'd love to know the inside story about why Shannon and Kerri apparently dislike each other so much.

 

[IratePanda]

I'd guess that Kerri was (and maybe still is) very jealous of Shannon, and Shannon probably viewed Kerri as an interloper. Also, Kerri seems to have a very grating Type-A personality. Even though she describes herself as quiet and introverted, she might have radiated anxiety and hostility at every turn.

 

[phoenix7]

Wasn't there also a massive drama about two competing tours after the 1996 Olympics - one with Kerri on bigger money, one with everyone else?

 

[RichardL]

Yes. This post is a good explainer:

 

[Matilda23]

Was Steve teaching Kerri the Y1.5 in secret & Shannon found out? Or was that the Hristakieva / Yurchenko Arabian

 

[QuietColours]

According to Claudia, that was the Yurchenko Arabian

 

[QuietColours]

Chapter 6: "Did I make it? Did I make it?"

• Orlando
  • Went through processing. Got their outfits, USA leather jackets, and a Cabbage Patch doll. Kerri got a little blonde doll named Ashley
  • Met swimmers Matt Biondi, Crissy Ahmann-Leighton, Janet Evans, and lots of other athletes
  • Most of the questions at the press conference were about Kim Kelly. Everyone had an opinion on how it should have been handled; people were talking about lawsuits, the politics of the sport, and the unfairness
  • She thinks they wound up with a good team, but what happened to Kim was unfair
  • She was relieved the only questions for her at the conference were about making the team and being the youngest member–-she didn't realize at the time she might have been the youngest US athlete at the Games. She didn't think her age was a factor and said she had a lot of experience in the sport
  • When asked about her plans after the games, she didn't commit to 1996, but she didn't think she'd be stopping gymnastics either
  • International fans and judges favored young, tiny, acrobatic girls at the time, and in 1992 she was small and slender–the whole team was tiny. The only Americans taller than 4'9 were Wendy Bruce (5'1) and Betty (5'3). Kerri knew she'd be bigger in four years, and wasn't sure she could handle four more years like she'd just had at Bela's. And she didn't like being away from home that long
  • Her goals for after the Olympics were "Finish high school. Get a gymnastics scholarship." She planned to go to UCLA with Sunshine
  • Some elites don't think NCAA is for them after competing at the highest level; others give up their amateur status (Kim, Shannon, and Betty were all professionals in Barcelona). Bela and others had told Kerri she should go professional too–there would be other opportunities, like being a cheerleader. Hilary was talking about getting into competitive. Kerri didn't think she was made for cheerleading. Kerri just like doing gymnastics. She was choosing not to be paid for the post-Olympic tour
  • Kim loved gymnastics, but her whole life had been pointed toward Barcelona whether she wanted it to be or not, and it was going to be the big event of her life. She got most of the press questions. She was having lots on interviews and press conferences. She didn't say much about it, but the burden of the Games was great on her
• Arrival
  • Considers the nine hour flight resting
  • Bela and Martha kept reminding them that they were there to compete and not to get caught up in the atmosphere
  • In France, they were caught up in frantic last minute preparations on top of two-a-day workouts. They were all trying to make the six member team and to get the best places in the lineup. Hilary was usually the lead off in the US lineup, but she hadn't made the team. Cites the standard reasoning that scores built over the course of the lineup
  • Kerri was reigning vault champion and strong on floor, so hoped to be fourth or fifth on those events. Bars and beam she had worked hard on and was more consistent than she had been before going to Bela's, but she could only hope for the best
  • It quickly became apparent Michelle was injured. Her elbow was better, but she had hamstring and hip injuries. Dawes had a neck injury. Wendy had some aches; Kim and Kerri were sore; Betty's back was still bothering her; Shannon's elbow still hurt, but she looked good.
  • Had spent so much time competing against each other that it was hard to flip to being a team like they were at Worlds. People expected them to be like sisters, but they found that hard. They did like each other, but they had trouble internalizing that they were no longer competing against each other (my note–since they were still competing to make the team and get lineup spots, I'm guessing there was still internal competition). Had started to open up by the time they checked into the village
  • Village was a 20 minute bus ride from the Olympic center; it was comfortable but very hot with no AC.
  • The day before opening ceremonies coaches cut practice short and let them go for a walk, maybe sight see and call their parents. The walk turned into one of the highlights of the trip when they met the Dream Team and got invited on the bus. Kerri is a big basketball fan and was very excited. She took a lot of pictures, but had unfortunately loaded her new camera wrong and none of them turned out. She felt meeting the Dream Team brought them together as a team (my note: this would be the outing that Shannon was so upset she had missed. No note is made of that in Kerri's book)
• Day One of Competition
  • Told Betty that the arena was their dream house
  • For Shannon, it would become her palace where she'd become the new queen of the sport, on her way to an unforgettable experience and five Olympic medals. For Kerri and Kim, it would be a house of cards
  • It fell down first on Kim. Kim had always been considered clutch. Kerri doesn't know if it was too many expectations, too much build up cracking her concentration, or just a fluke, but Kim fell on a CW-BHS in her first routine of the Olympics. Kerri says she's never heard 16,000 people sit so quietly. Kim was fairly clean getting through the rest of compulsories
  • Dominique and Wendy had gone earlier and done fine. Michelle was the alternate because of her injuries. Shannon was near perfect, Betty was great. Kerri was very happy with her own 9.8s and 9.9s. They were in second as a team behind the Unified Team
  • Kim was shaken after the competition, and Bela and Marta weren't happy. They were talking quietly, shaking their heads. It was like there had been a death in the family. None of the girls really knew what to say to Kim beyond basic encouragement. And they had a lot to focus on if they were going to fight for gold and hold off Romania and China
  • Individually, Shannon was in 1st . Betty was 8th, Kerri was in 13th, Kim was in 32nd
• Optionals
  • AA hopes depended on not just hitting in optionals, but also her place in the lineup. The team all competed at the same time, one after the other, with the teams head-to-head
  • Bela waited until the evening before the competition to tell them the lineups. Kerri was third on everything but vault, where she was fourth. It was very disappointing for Kerri–she thought she would be at least fourth on floor and fifth on vault. She knew Kim would be sixth on most events as world champion. She knew she'd have to scrape up every hundredth of a point to make the AA final
  • She tried to think positive. Tried to just concentrate on her routines. Did visualization and had a good warmup–she was nervous but confident
  • They started on bars. Kerri hit well for a 9.862; beam was 9.75 despite a subpar landing. She wasn't paying much attention to anyone else, but she did notice Kim nail her bars. Kerri did great on floor for a 9.837 and even better on vault for a 9.95
  • Bela gave her a hug, Martha told her, "Great, great." As a team, they lost ground to Romania because that team hit everything so strongly. Kerri's vault helped keep the US in bronze. Shannon and Betty kept up their strong performances and Kim was hitting really strongly as well. She saw Kim nail her vault for a 9.95 and Bela and Martha went nuts, lifting Kim in the air and telling her, "You did it, you did it. Kim, you made it!"
  • Kerri thought to herself, "What?" She was in a panic as she threw her things together and walked off the floor. She had to find her family in the stand and ask them if she made it. Lisa told her no. She was paralyzed, an empty feeling as tears filled her eyes. She had had one of the best performances of her life at a big competition and it wasn't enough. She was easily in the top 36, but there were three Americans ahead of her
  • Kim had put together the most spectacular performance of her career and ended up outscoring Kerri by .014
  • She went up to Kim, Betty, and Shannon and told them, "Great job, guys. Do great at all-arounds." She says she doesn't remember much else. All she could think of was the .014 and what she could have done better or differently. She walked straight to the back of the room in the press area and couldn't stop crying–she sat there for almost an hour as Kim, Shannon, and Betty answered questions
  • Someone asked Bela about Kerri and he said she made no mistakes and was one of the reasons they got the bronze, but probably no one would remember it. It was sad. He said she had nothing to feel ashamed about, but she felt ashamed
  • In her diary she wrote that she knew Kim deserved to compete, but she thought she did too. She was tired of always being almost there and thought about stepping back from elite gymnastics
• The Rest
  • Gutsu ended up winning, Shannon took silver. Kim didn't have a strong performance and went OOB on floor to finish 10th; Betty was 12th. Bela and Martha announced their retirements before the meet was even over
  • No one thing led to their decision–it was politics, the Trials, the pressure heaped on Kim, the hours in the gym, how long they'd been in the sport. She thinks the Olympics were a let down for them after Worlds 1991
  • Never got to say goodbye–after the final gymnastics event, they got on a plane the next morning without saying anything
  • Thought a lot about what she wanted to do with her career. One minute she'd want to go for '96, the next she was depressed and discouraged
  • Family did a European vacation right after the games–skipped closing ceremonies for Euro-Disney. She figured she'd sort it out when she got back to Tucson
  • Got a Bazooka Joe with a wrapper that says, "No one does it better than you."

 

[KorbutFan]

Personally I would’ve preferred to have seen either Dawes or Strug in the AA over Okino.

 

[RedBirdie]

Kerri seems a bit.....delusional? Maybe that's too strong of a word. But not really grounded in reality. I can understand being 14 and being upset about going 3rd in the line-up, or not making AA finals (even though it was pretty obvious from the get-go that barring disaster it would be Kim, Betty, and Shannon), but this book was written a good bit after the fact. Just no evidence of self-reflection or general awareness about the bigger picture beyond herself.

Bela and Marta acting like petulant little brats running away from Barcelona. And here's Kerri making excuses for them. I don't know what that pisses me off so much, but it does.

 

[Big_rock_show]

Yes. This post is a good explainer:

I understand the other 6 teammates feelings about Kerri getting so much attention for her final vault and that ultimately it was Mocanu's vault that cinched the gold for the team, but that doesn't make Kerri's final team vault any less heroic. It still was a hell of a moment for team USA, and they can't minimize that.

 

[ArnoldRimmer]

I understand the other 6 teammates feelings about Kerri getting so much attention for her final vault and that ultimately it was Mocanu's vault that cinched the gold for the team, but that doesn't make Kerri's final team vault any less heroic. It still was a hell of a moment for team USA, and they can't minimize that.

Yes, and it's only in hindsight that would've been clear. There were still 3 Russian scores to go when Kerri set off for her 2nd vault, on an event where the 9.8s had been raining down.

 

[KristyJ]

Kerri seems a bit.....delusional? Maybe that's too strong of a word. But not really grounded in reality. I can understand being 14 and being upset about going 3rd in the line-up, or not making AA finals (even though it was pretty obvious from the get-go that barring disaster it would be Kim, Betty, and Shannon), but this book was written a good bit after the fact. Just no evidence of self-reflection or general awareness about the bigger picture beyond herself.

Bela and Marta acting like petulant little brats running away from Barcelona. And here's Kerri making excuses for them. I don't know what that pisses me off so much, but it does.

I noticed she said she kept winning verifications (since they did verifications at the Karolyi's gym just like they introduced to USAG), and I think this is where the idea that she could win it all came from. If she beat Kim and Betty in the gym regularly I can see how she would extrapolate that out to she could win it all.

Honestly it has me looking back over some of the older competitions, but I do remember Kerri not usually hitting every event in competition, and that would've made a difference in expectations and evaluation coming in. Being third/fourth in the floor and vault lineups would've been based on politics as well as ability.

Agree that Bela and Marta left Barcelona like toddlers throwing a fit.

 

[JaJa]

I understand the other 6 teammates feelings about Kerri getting so much attention for her final vault and that ultimately it was Mocanu's vault that cinched the gold for the team, but that doesn't make Kerri's final team vault any less heroic. It still was a hell of a moment for team USA, and they can't minimize that.

I agree so strongly with this. Its not just her teammates. So many people have, over the years, tried to minimize what she did by saying that it was not Kerri who clinched the gold for the Team. But that misses the point entirely. What she did was indeed heroic, and she deserves all the recognition she got for it and more.

 

[rlayt]

At the time I’m sure most 4 year fans thought it was really heroic. Only in revisiting the issue years later with the background of athlete abuse do I feel like it was kind of sad. I don’t want to take away from her agency though. It’s a difficult thing whether I look at it the way I did in 1996 or the way i did later.

 

[ArnoldRimmer]

At the time I’m sure most 4 year fans thought it was really heroic. Only in revisiting the issue years later with the background of athlete abuse do I feel like it was kind of sad. I don’t want to take away from her agency though. It’s a difficult thing whether I look at it the way I did in 1996 or the way i did later.

I think a lot of people struggle now with the way it was framed.

But yeah, agree it's important to respect Kerri's agency here too. A lot of the conversation is about whether the US needed it... but she was also in a position where her own individual ambitions were on the line. She'd wanted to make an Olympic AA final for so long, and needed a hit vault for that. There was more than the team gold to consider.

 

[RichardL]

I think a lot of people struggle now with the way it was framed.

But yeah, agree it's important to respect Kerri's agency here too. A lot of the conversation is about whether the US needed it... but she was also in a position where her own individual ambitions were on the line. She'd wanted to make an Olympic AA final for so long, and needed a hit vault for that. There was more than the team gold to consider.

There's also an ick about how the commentators already knew the result going into the broadcast and they really embellished everything to arrive at that moment.

 

[ArnoldRimmer]

There's also an ick about how the commentators already knew the result going into the broadcast and they really embellished everything to arrive at that moment.

Oh yeah I always forget it wasn't shown live in the US- pretty sure the BBC did. 29 years ago seems such a different world sometimes!

 

[crdubb17]

Kerri seems a bit.....delusional? Maybe that's too strong of a word. But not really grounded in reality. I can understand being 14 and being upset about going 3rd in the line-up, or not making AA finals (even though it was pretty obvious from the get-go that barring disaster it would be Kim, Betty, and Shannon), but this book was written a good bit after the fact. Just no evidence of self-reflection or general awareness about the bigger picture beyond herself.

Bela and Marta acting like petulant little brats running away from Barcelona. And here's Kerri making excuses for them. I don't know what that pisses me off so much, but it does.

I know the concept of the book is a collection of her diary entries. I wonder if she spent time reflecting on any of this as the book was coming together or if they just sort of copied and pasted the journal entries to get something rush released in order to capitalize on her newfound fame.

I’m really interested to see what they will do with this movie about her story and how much she participates in the narrative. I would imagine her perspective on these things have changed in the last 30 years.