Off Balance: A Memoir

[MaryClare]

What happened to her father? Is he still alive?

 

[RAFIKI]

He died in 2008/9ish IIRC. At London worlds I asked her to sign a photo of her family in IG (didn’t expect her to be there so didn’t have any of her cover issues with me, but I sent for them because Moceanu got me into this sport and I was obsessed). When this book came out I regretted asking her to do that.

 

[rlayt]

Was her father ever diagnosed? He obviously had some mental health challenges.

 

[JDB]

Dominique and her father made amends. Off Balance has photos of him at her wedding. He died of cancer.

 

[rlayt]

Maybe all that macho shit was due to his upbringing but the description made him seem very paranoid and erratic. Poor Domi.

 

[makam]

Dude couldn't seem to handle being challenged by his "inferiors" but seems like he was ready to lick the boots of anyone with more "authority" than he had, likely in the hopes that that authority would transfer to him. Adult oppositional defiant disorder? Poor Domi.

We always do "suppose Mykayla had good coaching from early on" but suppose Domi had good coaching that didn't do everything possible to break her and toss her away.

 

[QuietColours]

Chapter 11: Jennifer: Flash Forward

• Getting to know each other
  • Talked regularly on the phone, emails, texts. Couldn't get enough of hearing from each other
  • During an early conversation, Jen had mentioned an interest in getting back into gymnastics. She worked as an operations cast member at Disney and was interested in getting into aerials and acrobatics
  • One conversation she 'just knew' she could do what the acrobats were doing; the next she had a professional partner
  • Jennifer loved the workouts so strenuous she could barely lift her wheelchair into her car afterwards–she hadn't worked out this hard in four years
  • She was a bit nervous about silks because so many of the tricks require legs for support, but she was quickly doing roll ups, a scale mostly done by male acrobats because of the strength required
  • Jennifer and her partner Nate's trampoline warm up caught the attention of the soccer and volleyball players they shared a gym with and extended into a full length act
  • Dominique liked it was Jen bounced ideas off her and asked for input or feedback–she was desperate to do more for her
• Meeting in person
  • Christina, Dominique, and Jen brainstormed ways they could meet in person
  • Her sisters agreed that they should travel to see New Mom Dominique
  • Met Jen May 2008–picked her up at the airport, arriving midday, an hour and half before Christina's flight from Texas
  • It was surreal how much she was like Dominique and Christina–not just appearance, but the way she talked, laughed, moved her hands when she described things
  • When Christina arrived she got even more emotional–the circle was complete
  • Talked for hours back at Dominique's house
  • Mama and Tata
    • Avoided talking about Mama and Tata at first
    • How do you reconcile one sister being given up for adoption?
    • It was clear Jennifer had had a more stable childhood than her sisters
    • Told Jen that Mama and Tata had been asking a lot of questions and that they were supportive. Tata had been quite ill recently, but Mama hoped they'd be able to meet Jennifer someday even though they were quite nervous
    • Jen seemed very composed and mature through this, and Dominique had to keep reminding herself Jennifer was only 20
  • It was a magical few days
• Performance
  • Jen and Nate's first performance in Orlando got them immediate media attention, and they started to land trampoline and silk performances, first in Florida and then around the world
  • Jen was invited to join the Brittany Spears tour
  • Dominique got to see them perform in Columbus, Ohio
  • That Jen had only been involved in aerial gymnastics for a year at that point was incredible
  • When Jennifer Bricker sets her mind to something, you'd better believe it will be happening

 

[QuietColours]

Chapter 12: Enter Mike Canales

• First Meeting
  • Dominique was 12, he was 16. They ran into each other in the hospitality room at 1994 US Nationals
  • She'd just won the junior AA title, and she, Alexandrov, and Jackie McCarter were very excited
  • She went to the hospitality room during the men's competition for something to eat–she'd barely eaten in the week leading up to the competition
  • Michael Canales was 5'5, thin, and lean–a typical male '90s gymnast
  • She could tell he was preoccupied and was cheery and gave him a bit of a coach-like pep talk
  • They both laugh about it now, how outgoing she was in the moment considering how timid she usually was at the time
  • Mike had gone to the hospitality room to clear his head; he was competing against some long time idols and felt a little overwhelmed
  • He had no idea who Dominique was, but she gave him some perspective and a smile. Someone later pointed her out to him as the winner of the woman's junior AA title. "So that kid really did know a thing or two about gymnastics"
• Growing up
  • Eventually had a proper introduction and became friendly when they crossed paths over the next four years
  • He was down to earth, kind, and respectful
  • With training and travel schedules, it's hard for elite gymnasts to keep in touch, especially since Dominique had no downtime before the Olympics
  • Did see him when the tour stopped in his hometown of Columbus, OH
  • Each time they saw each other, they just picked up where they left off
  • Always enjoyed seeing each other
  • Reconnected at the US National Championships in 1998. She was still clueless about romance and saw him as a friend she wanted as a penpal
  • She sent him a note after Championships, and many years later he surprised her by revealing he'd kept it
• Relationship
  • Next saw him in 2001. She's been through injuries, alcohol, and drugs by then, and viewed the people in her life very differently
  • She was in between camp sessions at the International Gymnastics Camps and saw him with Raj Bahavsar. For the first time, she saw him romantically and felt a little self conscious in her bikini, feeling less fit than she'd been before
  • Saw him again that night at the cabin house where the gymnasts and staff would hang out. It was the first time she'd really had a long, uninterrupted conversation with him
  • When she moved on to the next camp, they didn't know when they'd see each other again. They didn't exchange numbers for some reason
  • 2001 was another time of transition for her. Injuries had interrupted her attempt to try for the 2000 Olympics and she'd officially retired and didn't know what to do next. She felt the retirement was premature due to injury–she had two surgeries on her right knee and one on her right shoulder. She still wanted to compete. She was only 19
  • Attended 2001 Nationals as a spectator for the first time. She missed her bus and ran into Mike. She sprinted to him and almost tackled him–he'd hitched a ride to Philadelphia from OSU and was there to support Raj
  • She was more into Mike than the competition
  • He was very knowledgeable of both men's and women's gymnastics
  • His goal was to be a foot and ankle surgeon. He'd taken off a year after graduating from OSU with a degree in molecular genetics and was getting ready for med school, and was volunteering with the OSU men's team to help them prepare for Nationals
  • This time they exchanged phone numbers and their first kiss
  • Talked regularly on the phone for hours
  • He kept encouraging her to fulfill her dream of going to college, and she eventually enrolled in community college in spring 2002. She'd always dreamed about being the first in her family to graduate from college. Mama and Tata had never had the opportunity
  • Flew out of New York on September 11, 2001. Didn't learn about the attack until her plane landed and was grounded in Pennsylvania. There were no flights anywhere, so she couldn't get home to Houston, so she used the airline's voucher to get a cab to Cleveland to stay with Mike
  • Stayed there for five days, following the news
  • Couldn't believe she was already thinking of him as "the one"
  • She was at her highest weight then, but he always made her feel beautiful
  • After eight months of flying back and forth she moved to Cleveland to be with him while he was in medical school
  • Dominique and Tata had been slowly rebuilding their relationship. Neither ever formally apologized–it was more the fighting and rehashing died down and they began to accept each other as who they were
  • Mike came to meet her family at Christmas 2001, and Dominique wasn't sure how Tata would react. Tata grilled him for ages, and Mike calmly and respectful answered each question and was able to win over Tata. She even remember Tata asking him how much goat cheese cost. "I don't know, Mr. Moceanu. I just eat it."
  • Tata got a kick out of MIke, which was a relief. She was glad Mama and Tata approved. When she moved to Cleveland, they supported the decision. Tata even offered to bring her furniture in a moving truck for her
• Gymnastics
  • Mike opened the door for her to work at Gymnastics World, where he'd trained since high school. Owners Ron and Joan Ganim welcome her with open arms, and she also attended Cuyhoga Community College and John Carroll University to complete her business degree
  • Mike remained passionate about gymnastics and stayed active by participating the annual OSU Alumni gymnastics performance each January, despite his med school course load. He was able to perform at an elite level years after retiring
  • In 2004, Dominique spent a lot of time training for the post-Olympic tour and Mike started making comments about her getting back into competitive gymnastics. She'd often felt her retirement was premature and she didn't leave on her own terms. By 2005 she was in full training mode with Mike as her coach, using a "train smarter not harder" approach to prevent injuries
  • She'd been conditioned to believe she had to be in the gym 40+ hours a week and couldn't miss more than one day a week. This time she trained a lot fewer hours, went to college full time, and coached three days a week. It was a lot, but she felt balanced and empowered
  • Became a specialist, doing only vault and floor. She was learning new skills. They'd video tape their sessions and review the footage later that night. She liked being able to see what she couldn't always feel. It wasn't an original idea, but it was the first time she'd had it incorporated into her training
  • Some skills came naturally, like the full in on floor–she learned it at nine, mastered it by her twenties, and it came back quickly.
  • Aimed to compete at 2005 Nationals, knowing it would be an uphill battle with the rules and restrictions on athletes trying to come back from retirement
  • It was also widely believed US WAG was controlled by Marta Karolyi, who as national team coordinator didn't have much interest in Dominique Moceanu. She could stop Dominique's comeback at any time by saying Dominique 'didn't qualify' or 'didn't meet the criteria.' They were fully aware of the politics of elite gymnastics going in
  • But this time Dominique was coming back to compete at the highest level one more time, this time on her own terms
  • On July 2, 2005, Mike proposed and Dominique said, "Yes!"

 

[Matilda23]

I didn’t know Dominique made a 2005 comeback!

 

[MaryClare]

I didn’t know Dominique made a 2005 comeback!

IIRC she had decent skills back, just lacked the stamina needed for competition routines

 

[RichardL]

2006 Classic FX

 

[rlayt]

She, dominique, competed at Classic IIRC that year, 2005. I wish we had the threads from the old board because I seem to remember tried to petition to nationals.

here’s a video: https://www.facebook.com/share/v/17WuQjQLkT/?mibextid=wwXIfr

After denial she and Dr. Canales filed a grievance. Hearing:

 

[KristyJ]

This is a partial and low-quality clip of her vault at 2005 Classics.

I remember in 2005 thinking with the fall on floor that I understood her not qualifying farther, but having read her recounting of the situation, in hindsight I do think it was unfair, especially given she'd met the qualifying score at camp and upped her difficulty at Classics.

 

[KristyJ]

On a different note, I've finally read both books and caught up on these posts, mostly alternating chapters (minus taking all of the nationals events in the 1995 book in one chunk), and it's mind-bending the contrast. The 1995 book really does feel like it was Bela-dictated in some ways, and I can't decide if it feels like he had input pre-publishing or if she knew the party line and made sure to stick to it. I can't imagine she proof-read it with mistakes and misnamed skills rampant in the book.

 

[QuietColours]

Tomorrow's chapter goes into her comeback in detail. I strongly suspect Morgan Hurd heard from Dominique after the 2020 Olympic Trail debacle

 

[RedBirdie]

She, dominique, competed at Classic IIRC that year, 2005. I wish we had the threads from the old board because I seem to remember tried to petition to nationals.

here’s a video: https://www.facebook.com/share/v/17WuQjQLkT/?mibextid=wwXIfr

After denial she and Dr. Canales filed a grievance. Hearing:

2005 would have been pre-WWG! I definitely remember discussing it extensively on GGMB.

 

[rlayt]

Oh yes! A year too early.

 

[tempest]

USAG also allowed people to call in to the conference call about her appeal! That was crazy

 

[QuietColours]

Chapter 13: The Comeback Trail

• Getting started
  • Coming back at the late age of 24 was unheard of, especially since she'd been retired for five years. She would have been deterred by her (numerous) critics if she'd been younger
  • Had support and sponsorship from Woodward Gymnastics Camp. They covered her training and living expenses during the summers in exchange for her coaching at camps. She liked working with young gymnasts
  • Lived in the summer lodge and had access to the cafeteria, but elected to bring her own food
  • For once she was eating sensibly, with well-balanced meals, and she didn't want to mess that up.
  • Equipment was top-of-the-line
  • Was able to drive back to Cleveland to be with Mike on the weekends and time off. He was doing his medical residency. He would write out her daily training plan and email it to her each morning. It worked for them–she could stay on task and push through workouts on her own
  • Did get odd looks for training alone with just a video camera. Reviewed each turn after completing it. She made corrections and repeated each skill until she got it right
  • Often had spectators watching her–many supportive, some critical. It was expected and unavoidable
    • Remembers two specific occasions where watching coaches made derogatory remarks like she was a circus animal. They were shocked when she learned what they said and confronted them about how their rude, inappropriate comments were interrupting her workout
    • They both immediately began backpedaling and falling over their words when confronted with their own words. Suggests both were men
    • It felt good to stand up for herself and not be intimidated
• Injury
  • By July 2005, she was exceeding her goals, and then she started feeling a sharp pain in her right Achilles
  • Mike diagnosed Achilles tendonosis. They immediately slowed her trainings, but the pain persisted. She was surprised when Mike told her to take four whole days off for PT and rest–it felt like forever to her. She wanted to compete at US Classics in late July
  • Mike was adamant, explaining how the body would attempt to repair itself, but not if she continuously wore it down by working the injury. He was a foot and ankle surgical resident, so she didn't argue with him.
  • He asked his mentor, world-renowned foot and ankle surgeon Gerard Vincent Yu, to examine Dominique. He confirmed the tendonosis diagnosis and found that there was already a slight tear. She also had a condition called Haglund's deformity, a bump of bone at the back of the heel that pushes against and irritates the tendon
  • At the end of July she had surgery performed by Dr. Yu and his team, including Mike. They used an innovative, less invasive surgery that would let her heal faster. They also shaved down the Hagland's deformity and removed a bursa sac of fluid. She was able to finish her obligations at Woodward, but with a cast and crutches
  • Recovered swiftly and was able to perform a the Hilton Ice Skating Spectacular in October
• USAG
  • Mike was having trouble confirming the correct protocol to get Dominique competing elite again. They were finally told that in order for her petition to attend a 2006 Nationals, she had to attend a training camp at her own expense and compete at least one event at 2006 US Classic
  • They carefully submitted all information, documents, forms, and membership fees. They paid their way to a camp, held at the ranch in Houston. They waited on Marta for admission
  • Camps were where athletes would essentially try out to compete at the elite level and for the National Team. Athletes had to submit a video demonstration of their skills. If Marta approved, the gymnast could enroll (and pay a $240 weekly fee per coach and athlete). At camp, Marta and sometimes a panel of National team staff would evaluate physical capabilities and skill level and determine she could compete in an elite meet. Gymnasts not getting higher enough marks or denied attendance at camp were less likely to secure roster spots unless they qualified through an elite qualifier competition. It was the gateway to becoming an elite in the US and Marta was the gatekeeper. If she didn't like you, your chances of moving forward were slim
  • The entire process was subjective and contrary to methods used in other national sports. A gymnast's future depended on Marta's opinion. She felt there was very little oversight and no system of checks and balances. The governing body and Marta would arbitrarily apply "official" criteria and standards on an ad hoc basis to justify their decisions
  • As weeks passed and she didn't hear anything, she called Marta directly to inquire. "What Olympics were you again?" Marta asked.
  • The question made Dominique furious, but she answered calmly. Marta finally gave her approval to attend camp, and Dominique couldn't get off the phone fast enough
  • It was hard to believe she was voluntarily returning to the ranch
  • After the conditioning circuit on day one, she saw Bela enter the gym. She'd been conditioned from age 10 to immediately go greet him, but he shoved past her and went to his office, keeping his back turned. Mike told her to ignore Bela. He wasn't worth being upset over
  • During the mock competition, she was placed with Nastia, Chellsie, and Alicia. It was nice to get to know them. She did a Podkopayeva vault and a Tsukahara layout 1.5, which is what she planned to compete at Nationals. She was proud of both vaults
  • She was one of the few athletes to do her entire floor routine on a hard surface, not tumbling into a pit. Some gymnasts did timers on some or all of their passes. They'd considered using a pit for her first pass–if they had, they would have upgraded it to a DLO–but they felt Marta would use the pit against her, arguing she wasn't skilled or fit enough to perform on hard surfaces.
  • At the end, Marta approached each athlete and her coaches about what the gymnast needed to work on. Marta met with every coach and athlete except Dominique and Mike.
  • Mike told her not to worry about it, but he was irked too
  • At the final dinner, Kathy Kelly approached Dominique's table. Dominique had just grabbed a roll from the bread basket. She was one of the few gymnasts brave enough to eat from the bread basket. Kathy used the public forum to tell Dominique all the things she thought Dominique needed to work on. Dominique believes she was acting on Marta's orders–Kelly had long been Marta's right-hand woman. She was the one Tata had to battle to get Dominique into the 1998 Goodwill Games
  • Conversation:
    • "Well, I guess we all know what you need to work on."
    • "I think I did great!" Took her off guard by answering quickly and confidently.
    • She seemed to forget what she was going to say and walked away after a few seconds
  • Dominique was proud of what she'd done and surviving the camp.
  • As they were leaving, Bela was riding by on his tractor. He obviously saw them but ignored them. But just as he passed he waved and gave them a big grin and said, "Bye!" Mike and Dominique laughed–it was so bizarre

 

[QuietColours]

• Petition
  • USAG had stated in writing her petition would be granted if she completed a camp and competed one event at US Classic.
  • A few weeks later, she competed at Classic, doing both vault and floor. She did an upgraded floor routine with five passes
  • On August 1, 2006 they were notified she would not be allowed to compete. They were stunned, because they had the requirements in writing and had clearly completed them.
  • The three member committee of Kim Zmeskal-Burdette (athlete rep), Steve Rybacki, and Marta Karolyi unanimously decided to deny her petition. Marta's vote didn't surprise her. Rybacki had seemed impressed with her at camp, though. She was surprised Kim was even on the panel–she hadn't been at the camp or competition, and Dominique didn't know how Kim would have evaluated her skills.
  • Her entire comeback hinged on competing at Nationals, and USAG changed the rules at last minute. They now claimed she needed at least a combined score of 28.0 on two events for her petition to be granted.
  • She'd actually satisfied the requirement at the training camp, and 'banking' scores from camp is a regular, sanctioned practice in gymnastics.
  • All her training and hard work was washed away by bureaucracy. She was disappointed and taken aback by how unfair it was and how easy it was for the system to block anyone from competing.
  • She knew her shot was over, but she wanted to stand up for the gymnasts following her
  • On August 2, 2006, she filed an official grievance against USAG, the first by a female gymnast. Gymnasts didn't do it because they knew they'd be blacklisted if they did.
  • The grievance committee confirmed the selection committee's decision by 2-1 vote. She had her sole chance to voice her case there, but Rybacki was the only member of the selection committee to attend. Mike carefully and completely outlined their case, pointing out the unfairness of changing the criteria after the fact. He also asked several questions (not given) that lead to awkward silences when the committee didn't know how to respond. But what they did have, in the end, was power.
• USAG Today (2012)
  • The state of USAG has not, in her opinion, improved at time of writing. She believes Marta now has more subjective power and control, and she disapproves of the ranch being an official USOC training site
  • Feels it is understandable USAG would want to mimic the successful Soviet and Romanian centralized training systems, but feels its un-American to have one person holding so much power, with few published criteria and guidelines on how gymnasts are evaluated, ranked, and selected, and no safe and effective way to file a grievance.
  • Decisions shouldn't be made in closed-door sessions. If she were in charge, she'd go back to doing it solely through public competitions, with top scores at Trails qualifying peaking athletes.
  • Needs a petition format for athletes struggling with injury at the time of Trials–that system worked in 1996.
  • The gymnastics community needs to ask why we've never moved away from the selection process
  • Not surprising Bela and Marta wanted the same control and centralized training system they had in Romania, but they are no longer in Romania and USAG should stop accommodating them
  • Have to admire the gumption of the Karolyis and how they hypnotize people with their Olympic medals. Doesn't understand why the gymnastics community doesn't see a conflict of interest in having the NT training center and NT training camps on property owned by the NTC. How is it beneficial to have someone financially profiting from the camps in a position to determine how many camps are needed?
  • Thinks US can win medals using fair selection processes and adopting guidelines designed to protect athletes from abuse and injuries
• Reflections
  • Comeback was a success in her eyes
  • First time she was a gymnast on her own terms
  • Faced childhood demons by returning to the ranch
  • The grievance filing and dispute gave her and Mike a chance to expose USAG's dubious methods and selection procedures. She wonders if that might have been her mission all along.
  • Gets lots of positive responses from people grateful and excited she was pushing and demanding answers
  • Sometimes your impact isn't in the form of a medal, but it can be just as meaningful