Oke here we go.
First: I am not as good as QuietColours who did a great job summarizing!
Like said before, the book is shocking and vile and what Gerrit Beltman did, and years later admitted, started the abuse scandal in the Netherlands.
STASJA (1984 - 1987)
Stasja remembers waking up to a cold morning, living in a small apartment without central heating and without double glass. In wintertime when she woke up she was always very cold and often rushed to the living room to lay in front of the gas heater.
She remembers taking a walk with her father walking through the East of Amsterdam. They always discussed gymnastics and Stasja always stated that she wanted to be a world champion. She imagined waving to her fans and accepting the gold medal. Her father just smiled.
Stasja is doing recreational gymnastics on Tuesday nights, it is her favorite day of the week and she cannot wait to be back in the gym again. She loves to jump, swing and do cartwheels, gymnastics is al she can think about.
When she turns eight, her parents allow her to give a party. Stasja refuses because her birthday is on a Tuesday and she doesn't want to cancel her gymnastics class.
After class het gymnastics teacher asks Stasja if she wants to train more, Stasja fully agrees! The teacher explains that she cannot do that at her current club but the KDO club in Amsterdam-North is holding talent auditions. Her mother asks if Stasja would like to audition and she enthusiastically agrees.
Together with her brother Tonny, and her mother, they travel to Amsterdam-North for the audition. There are more than 30 girls attending. They have to do strength exercises like rope climbing, pushups and pull-ups on the bars. It is no trouble for Stasja. She is invited to join the KDO team.
She trains 12 hours per week and learns a lot of new skills, like a back walkover on the beam, a layout somersault on the floor and a fly-away from bars.
After seven months the coaches admit that they do not have the skills to advance her any further and they advise her to join Tonido in Amsterdam, one of the best gymnastics clubs in the country.
Stasja is very nervous for her trial training at Tonido. She looks at the other girls and sees that they are much more advanced than she is but she just tries to copy whatever they are doing. At the end of class Bram, the head coach, asks Stasja to join the Tonido team. Stasja is overjoyed and proud, which is celebrated at night with some chocolates.
The Tonido era
Gymnastics becomes the center of not only Stasja's life, but also of her family. It takes a family effort to ensure that the travel from school to the gym is done safely and under supervision, using only public transportation, as Stasja's family do not own a car.
Stasja now trains 20 hours per week and for her it is not enough. On her free Sundays she often spends the day in the park with her dad pretending to compete in big gymnastics competitions, she always wins.
The first competition
Her first competition is on February 22nd, 1988 in Amsterdam. Stasja is very excited, also because the stand are filled with aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and friends. The competition is perfect for Stasja and she wins first prize. She waives to the stands with a huge grin on her face.
More training hours
After her first competition, het training hours are raised to 25 hours per week and not much later to 30 hours a week. Celebrating holidays, or playing with friends is not possible anymore. The coaches become tougher and much more demanding. She often has blisters on her hands but is not allowed to stop, even if they start bleeding. Often it hurts so much that she is crying, her coaches yell at her to "stop being a baby". Stasja tries to grith her teeth and hold in her tears.
The coaches are also focusing on weight control. After a bad training, Bram, her coach is yelling at Stasja that she is a bad gymnast because he always sees her eat chocolate. After that rant, Stasja decides not to eat candy near her coaches, she also instructs her parents not to give her candy in front of her coaches. She still loves and eats her candy, but now secretly. Her parents comply by hiding candy in her gym bag, taping it to the side of an inner pocket, often also containing a note: Enjoy my darling xxx, Mom!
A few months before her first National championships, the coaches let the gymnasts know that they are going on a 10-day training camp in Nijmegen. Some girls do not want to go but Stasja is very excited to go, as she will again meet Simone Heitinga, a girl that she met at a competition. They hit it off right away and became pen-palls.
Gerrit Beltman
At the training camp Stasja really meets Gerrit Beltman for the first time. He is coaching Simone and is the head coach at the "Wilskracht" club from Alphen aan de Rijn. He stands out immediately as he is by far the toughest coach at the camp. His gymnasts often cry during practice. When one of his gymnasts falls from the bars and hurts herself. Instead of checking up on her Gerrit yells at her that she is useless. He bents over her and yells in her face until she gets up. Stasja is shocked and surprised by the situation and feels very bad for the girl, but there is nothing she can do. The behavior of Gerrit scares her, isn't gymnastics supposed to be fun? Her coaches urge her to ignore the situation and continue her practice but Stasja finds it hard to focus as the yelling, cussing and crying continues.
Gymnastics club "Wilskracht" from Alphen aan de Rijn are holding talent auditions for girls from the age of 7. Mum reads it in the newspaper and asks Vanessa, Simone's big sister, if she wants to go. Two weeks later they go to the audition. At the gym they meet Gerrit Beltman and her mother asks if Simone can join as well, though she is too young. Gerrit agrees.
Simone is very happy that she can audition and tries extra hard, especially when Gerrit is watching her. They need to show a split but Simone never tried it and cannot manage it, Gerrit looks displeased. Vanessa is already doing gymnastics and has no problem performing the split. After the audition, Gerrit immediately invites Vanessa to join. He also allows Simone to join, if she is willing to work on her flexibility. Simone complies and is very happy to match her big sister.
They start training once a week, travelling to the gym by bike, a one hour ride. Both Vanessa and Simone stand out with their long dark hair and colorful bows. Gerrit is very nice and often jokes with the girls, they love him! After a few weeks Vanessa is invited to train with the older girls, though Simone is not as good as her big sister, she is asked to join as well.
Wilskracht Gymnastics club
They start training 11 hours per week, which is soon increased to 20 hours. Vanessa and Simone are the youngest of the group. Gerrit mainly coaches the oldest elite girls in the gym.
During a training they suddenly hear Gerrit scream at the girls in his group. This is very shocking to Simone as she is not used to Gerrit behaving that way. With her, he is always joking and he even let her cut his precious mustache! Her teammate tells her to not pay attention to the yelling and focus on her training but Simone is distracted and sees the girls crying without making a sound.
After practice Gerrit approaches Simone and tells her that he is considering placing her back into her old group as he thinks she is not good enough. He will give her a few weeks to improve herself. Simone decides that if she is placed back that she will quit gymnastics, as she is only doing it to spent time with her big sister.
At the gym they are visited by a dietician who explains exactly what they can eat, and how much they can eat. From that day on, they are weighted every day before practice and their weight is closely monitored by Gerrit.
Parents are banned from the gym, as Gerrit explained to the gymnasts: "Parents are soft, they do not understand high level gymnastics so they are useless here".
There are more and more violent incidents in the gym where Gerrit screams and cusses at gymnasts and often even become physical. Simone feels very bad for the gymnasts but the remains silence and tries to continue her training, making herself as small and invisible as possible.
The first competition
Simone's first competition is in Monster. It went well and after the competition, all the competitors, and the audiences receive a package of banana licorice. The next day during training Gerrit yells at his gymnast for accepting, and eating the treats. He tells the girls that they are amateurs and that nobody will take them seriously. He point out Simoane for also eating her mother's package. He yells at them that they should ashamed of themselves. The lecture ends with additional strength training and more cussing and yelling.
Simone goes on a training camp to France, she is very excited to go to a different country. At the last training Gerrit instructs them to not show weakness. They have to carry their own suitcases, cannot have contact with their parents during the camp. He insists that they are high level athletes and they have to behave like it. No teary goodbyes or cuddling. Though it feels very strange, Simone does not say goodbye to her parents, turns around and walks to the bus.
Vanessa is placed with the top group and Simone is sorry, and a little jealous, that she is not in the same group as her sister anymore. Gerrit tells her that in a few years she should be good enough to go to "Papendal" the place where the national team trains. Simone notices that Gerrit is much tougher on Vanessa as he is to her. It makes Simone secretly happy that she is not training with Gerrit.
After a training Simone, and teammate Sheila are stretching when Gerrit approaches them. "Come with me" he snarls at Simone. She follows him and he pushes her against the wall and lifts her leg. He pushes her leg next to her ear, using his full weight against her. Simone starts crying because of the pain, as she is pushed beyond her limits. Gerrit yells at her to stop crying, and that this is a consequence of her not training hard enough. While stretching her he pulls a bit of skin together and screams at her that she is fat. He then drops her leg and angrily walks out of the gym.
During training Simone is training a back walkover on the low beam. After doing it twice on the low beam, Gerrit decides that she has to move to the high beam. She climbs on the high beam but freezes, she is just too scared. Meanwhile her sister Vanessa falls off the beam, she is bleeding from a wound at her upper leg. She is screaming from freight and pain. Gerrit urges her to get back on the beam to do the move again. Crying and trembling, Vanessa repeats the move and makes it. "Well done" Gerrit praises her.
Simone decides that she does not like gymnastics anymore. But when Gerrit pulls her on his lap after practice and asks if she will join the team on Monday's as well, she complies. She really does not want to because she hardly has time to play anymore, and they already train so many hours. But Gerrit asks her very sweetly and she is honored to be asked so she tells him that she will join the Monday trainings.
Simone soon finds out why Vanessa is always so cranky on Monday. There are no other groups in the gym and Gerrit just let’s himself go. He is yelling and cussing throughout the training without constraint. He is also physically abusive, pushing one of the smaller girls on her back, bending over her and yelling in her face, just for getting the wrong trampoline from storage.
Stay silent and continue
Today Gerrit is mad at everyone. He is cussing, yelling and throwing items against the walls. The gymnasts try to continue what they are working on, knowing that if they don't it can get so much worse. After training Vanessa and Simone bike home. They do not tell their parents what happens in the gym, they do not dare to!
The mental and physical abuse continues, mostly focused on Vanessa. Simone sees how her big sister is often panicked, all the girls feel the intense tension in the gym. She wants Gerrit to stop but she does not know how. In the evenings at home, she often hears Vanessa cry in her room. One evening when Simone is getting ready for bed, she hears Vanessa talking to her parents. They ask her if she wants them to talk to Gerrit. Simone hopes that her parents will decide to take them out of gymnastics. Vanessa begs them not to talk to Gerrit and the abuse continues. Their dad is insisting to talk to Gerrit but Vanessa starts crying that she wants to continue gymnastics and that they should not talk to Gerrit. Vanessa is afraid that Gerrit will hit her father if he tries to talk to him.
Both know from experience that if a parent complains about the treatment that the gymnast will be punished for it. Gerrit often tells them that parent are too soft, useless, spoiling their kids, which is not what they need to be top-level gymnasts.
Simone and Vanessa bike through a severe thunderstorm to go through the gym. They have to bike on very open and flat land where they are the highest point, which is very dangerous but the fear for Gerrit is greater than being hit by lightning. They get punished anyway for being too late for practice. According to Gerrit, being on time is their own responsibility.
Simone is kicked out of the gym, and as it expected of her she waits in the cold locker room until Gerrit comes to talk to her. She does not dare to move. Not much later Gerrit storms in. He runs towards her and Simone cowers away. He screams at her and calls her names. She is afraid to look at him, he is so much bigger than her. Gerrit continues his yelling and Simone is so afraid but tries not to cry, knowing that this will enrage Gerrit even more.
When the days get darker and shorter, Gerrit offers to take Simone and Vanessa home after training. To their parents he states that they need to focus on gymnastics and that he will pick them up and bring them home. Their mother is very happy and thinks Gerrit is really sweet to care about her daughters so much.
Gerrit is being very sweet to Simone and Vanessa when their mother is near, however in the car to the gym, he tells them that their mother is lazy and needs more exercise and that she is looking like hell. After training Gerrit often joins the family for dinner and Gerrit proudly shares the gymnastics highlights their daughters achieved that day.
In the meantime Simone is dreading every day and going to practice. One day during schooltime she is determined to quit gymnastics, no matter how much Gerrit screams at her. The thought cheers her up and for once she is laughing and socializing with her classmates, she does not need to save her energy for training anymore. The one thing she needs to do is convince her mother when she gets home that she really wants to quit gymnastics. She tries to talk to her mother but does not really give a reason for wanting to quit. She does not dare to tell her mom how Gerrit has been treating them. Before the discussion is really over, Gerrit arrives to pick them up.
Surrogate father
On Wednesday's Vanessa and Simone start training on "Papendal" where the National team trains (about a 1,5 hour drive). Both girls are hoping to be noticed, and impress National team coach Ronald Walter. Gerrit picks them up from home. During the car drive they do not dare to talk. "In the car you sleep" Gerrit orders. They always dread the training on Papendal as Gerrit always seems extra cranky. On one occasion Vanessa is kicked out and Gerrit visits her in the locker room. When she returns to the gym she looks panicked and Simone can see handprints on her body. On the way home Gerrit orders Vanessa to sit in the front. Gerrit screams at her all the way home. At one time he is so angry that he stops the car and orders Vanessa to get out. On the dark rainy road Gerrit continues to yell and cuss at her.
When they have days off from school they have additional practices. During holidays they go on training camps. Gerrit decides everything for them and often tells his gymnasts that he is their surrogate father. Simone is honored that he seems to care about them so much, on the other side she feels strange because she has a father and does not want another one.
When they have two practices and no school, they spent the time in between practices at Gerrit's apartment. Simone finds it stifling that they are always with him.
During one practice Simone overshoots a tumbling pass and she hurts her elbow. There is no other coach in the gym so Gerrit instructs the other gymnasts to continue training while he takes Simone to the hospital. Simone feels special that Gerrit cares so much to take her to the hospital. She is also very scared of him so she sits very still and does not talk. The elbow is not broken but just bruised. She is put in a sling and is relieved that she does not have to train fully for a while. During her injury Simone does have to continue training, but a few elements that really scare her, are for now impossible to do, it feels like a relieve. Simone tries to stretch her injury but after 10 days of taking it easy Gerrit orders her to hang on the bars. She lies and says that it hurts, but Gerrit is not listening.
They are at a training camp in Nijmegen. Simone is happy to see her friend Stasja again and hopes that they can spent some time after practice. During the whole training camp Gerrit is very angry and he yells a lot. During a beam training he screams at one of the gymnast, his yelling gets louder and louder. Simone sees gymnasts from other clubs staring at them and she feels embarrassed but tries to not pay attention to what is happening and continue her training.
Alone with Gerrit
It is in the middle of a cold winter. The official training has ended and all gymnasts have gone home but Simone is still at the gym. "Now get the fuck back on the beam and don't get off until you have done it!" Gerrit yells. Slowly Simone climbs back on the beam, she feels very cold. She just spent an hour getting lectured while she was shivering and crying standing on the ice cold locker room floor dressed in just a leotard. Slowly she climbs onto the beam, her body feels cold and stiff. She stands still on the high beam. She has to do a back walkover-back handspring combination but she is too scared to move. Gerrit sits on a mat close by, it is very quiet in the gym. She cries softly while she feels Gerrit's eyes on her. She is exhausted, and so very afraid of Gerrit. After Simone feels darkness clouding her, it is like her mind shuts down, that is until Gerrit starts screaming at her, rushes towards her and pushes her off the beam. Before he can become more abusive Simone quickly climbs the beam and without thinking performs the required combination. Finally she is allowed to get dressed and go home. Simone feels very scared and panicked but also relieved that she survived another training where she is forced to do this skill.
