Chapter I - STUMBLING ACROSS GYMNASTICS
If anyone had told me that I would one day give birth to an Olympic athlete, I would have been enchanted by the idea. Any mother would be, right? But dreaming about such success and actually living it are two different things. The price that such a life-style demands is very difficult for people outside of the sports arena to understand. Succeeding on such an intense level requires that every waking second of every day be devoted to competition, and that goes for every member of the family. Those who choose this life inevitably suffer from a special breed of insanity that starts with the coaches and infects parents, athletes, everyone involved. Of all the sports that fit this pattern, gymnastics has to be one of the worst.
Gymnastics. I hate that word. Getting involved in it was the biggest mistake of my life. The all-consuming greed for success and fame that is encouraged by the policies of the Untied States Gymnastics Federation blinded me to my own child's best interests. I put my daughter through a universe of sacrifice that nobody, especially a child, should have to endure. By the time I opened my eyes, it was too late to back out. We had too much invested, personally and financially. Gymnastics was our lives.
We were living in New York state in 1973 when Chelle came along. (Chelle is short for Michelle, if you must know.) My husband Frank was a field operative for IBM, which meant we had to pick up and move every six to eighteen months. Newborn Chelle and her older brother Paul were thankfully very easy to move, but I was continually having to find things for them to do. As I played with Chelle, I noticed how extraordinarily flexible she was, so I took her to a beginning dance program when she was two. She enjoyed it quite a bit and I was told she had a real talent for it. After that, I tried to find a place for Chelle to dance everywhere we went.
When Chelle was five, we moved to a little town just north of Austin, Texas. She was taking jazz and tap when we got a flier in the mail for a local gymnastics program which was just starting up. A number of Chelle's dance teachers had told me that she ought to try gymnastics, so I took her out there. Chelle loved it immediately. They would put her in a harness hung from the ceiling and bounce her on a trampoline. She could do any trick they asked for. About two months into it, the coach came out and told me how agile and fearless she was, and that I ought to seriously consider keeping her in gymnastics. Chelle was happy and it kept her busy, so I thought why not.
Chelle started kindergarten that fall, but then we got transferred again, this time to Virginia. I couldn't find a gym there, so I tried all kinds of different activities. Nothing kept Chelle's attention like gymnastics, though. I remember T-ball being particularly unsuccessful. Six months later, we were thankfully moved again, to a suburb of Philadelphia. I went through the phone book and found a gym about ten miles away.
The owner, who became a very good friend of ours, put Chelle on his "mini-team" and she would go in once or twice a week. He had these impressive Russian coaches named Leo and Anna Belder who were doing amazing things with the older girls. Naturally, the rest of the mini-team parents and I wanted to know when we could get the Belders to spend time with our little girls. We kept hearing "soon, soon, soon." Well, soon came about when the Belders left and opened their own gym a few blocks away. It wasn't too long before we were over there with them.
Leo and Anna treated Chelle like their own child. They would help her with her homework and give her candy. When she did well at a meet, Leo would give her a Russian pin from a large collection that they kept on the wall. Leo babied Chelle, and she and the rest of the team never had to be afraid of falling when he was around. He would die before he'd let any of his gymnasts get hurt. I've seen him get concussions while catching little girls. In fact, the left side of his face is messed up from when he caught a boy coming off the high bar in Russia once.
Chelle loved Leo, and I was happy having something for her to do, but Frank had followed the Olympics to some extent, and he had more ambitious plans. He asked Anna one time if she thought Chelle might be Olympic material. She said, "Only way Chelle go to Olympics, she pay her way!"
Frank found that insulting, but it was a pretty important point. Like everyone who comes to this country, the Belders were here to make money. They kept increasing Chelle's private lessons and the bills got higher and higher. They eventually trained me how to coach beginners just to help pay for Chelle's lessons. Pretty soon, Chelle was up to four days a week, three or four hours at a time. When you're eight years old, that's a lot of workout. Chelle wasn't overly fond of the actual gymnastics, really. She enjoyed working with Leo because he kept it fun, but she would get tired of the long hours and having to go out into the cold weather night after night. She wanted to stay home and play with her friends who didn't know what she was doing or why. She didn't really understand all the meets we were taking her to, either. But I thought it was healthy for her. I wasn't going to have her sitting in front of the TV. She needed to keep busy.
As 1982 was beginning, Frank's job in Pennsylvania was ending, and IBM wanted to send us back to "home base" in Virginia. I did not want to go back to Virginia. I was tired of living in the cold northern states with the crowded, expensive housing, and so was Frank. Besides, there was no place for Chelle to train where we had been in Virginia. I really missed the wide open spaces and the big houses in Texas. There had been empty fields as far as the eye could see where we lived in Austin, and our house had two stories with grassy yards on all four sides. We had gone through Houston once, and I had fallen in love with it. I told Frank that, if at all possible, I wanted to move to Houston.
Because Frank had followed the Olympics, he knew who Bela Karolyi was, and he remembered reading that Bela had recently defected from Romania and was coaching in Houston. Perfect for us! Frank made a few calls and found out that Bela was coming to Philadelphia with a gymnast named Dianne Durham for a meet at Temple University the following May. He arranged for Bela to come out and look at Chelle while he was in town.
Now Anna and Leo, being from the Old World, said, "Oh, you must entertain! He is special man!" They insisted we get expensive Napoleon brandy with real glasses and hors d'oeurves to welcome him. They acted as if God Himself had deigned to manifest in their gym. They still tell people about how Bela Karolyi came to their gym and took one of their gymnasts.
The big day came, and Frank drove to Philadelphia to get Bela while I made everything ready at the gym. It was a Sunday, so there was nobody there but us. Anna and Leo never turned the heat on unless it was absolutely necessary, so it was very cold in there that day. When Bela finally walked in, I wasn't disappointed. He was just as huge and imposing as they said he would be. Everything he did and said, every move he made, let you know that he was in charge and you were not.
Once introductions were made, we brought Chelle out to show off what she could do. She weighed no more than 50 pounds then, and she looked like a flea next to that huge man. It was almost funny. At one point, Anna was having Chelle demonstrate back handsprings on the beam, which she had never done before without help. Predictably, she fell three or four times. Bela went up to help her and Anna spat, "Don't touch my gymnast!" Bela backed off and Anna looked at Chelle and said, "DO IT!" And Chelle did it.
When Chelle was done, Bela talked with us a while. He and the Belders conversed in some other language, but he had a few choice words to say to all of us about Dianne Durham. His English was even worse than theirs, but I caught enough of it. He said that Dianne was spoiled and that he had to meet with her parents later that day to discuss how "unmanageable" she was becoming. I have since learned that "unmanageable" means "she won't let me push her around," but I had no way of knowing that at the time. I did pick up on his bigotry, though, as he kept reminding us that Dianne is black. The whole thing took maybe an hour, socializing and all, and Bela said that Chelle was welcome on his team, that he wanted her down there as soon as possible. We told him we didn't think we could make it until August, but he was adamant. "You must get her down there right away! We must start with her immediately!" He really had us worried that if we didn't get down there soon, he might change his mind.