Off Topic from Social Media Thread (discussion of offensive terms still used)

And the Q word! I hate it!


I hate it. And i’m not alone.

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And I hate it when some in the LGBT community seem to take ownership of certain words or concepts, and then forcibly apply it to everyone else in the community, irrespective of whether they like it or not.

But… I digress…


oh I’m queer hahaha. Many of my friends are too. This is interesting to me, I did not know many find the word offensive still. I’m glad you shared that; this is a learning experience for me.

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I dislike the term “queer”…perhaps because I heard that word used in a derogatory manner in middle school and high school in the early-mid 90s. I also heard the F word a lot as well.

Nothing like being called “F–” and slammed into the lockers. Luckily for me, I was not the one that happened to, but I saw it happen to a few that were targeted. The theatre/drama crew got it a bunch. The word still makes me cringe almost 25 years graduated from high school.

I’ve been called that word many a times myself–even on my own street last year–and was once thrown into a recycling bin in middle school hahaha I can laugh about it and honestly always have

For me, when the word is used in a derogatory way I don’t think of it as having nearly as much gravity as the f slur. In school “queer” wasn’t as much of a popular insult for my generation or at least my school lol

I think queer is a really helpful umbrella term instead of using an acronym that is getting pretty unruly at this point. It also should be taken into account that those who prefer usage of the word “queer” as an identity tend to be far less white and far less male.


I have no problem with other people calling themselves queer. Call yourself whatever you like. And I will defend your right to do so!

What I dislike is when people use it as a label for LGBT people generally. Many LGBT people dislike hearing it - especially hearing it in the context of describing them (or the “social group” which they may fall within) personally .

Just because some LGBT people have embraced it when not used in a derogatory way, doesn’t mean we all must. Imagine being forced to accept a description or a pronoun which you vehemently dislike. But use of the word “queer” seems to be the direction the (predominantly young / Gen Z) LGBT activist community is headed, unfortunately. Maybe I’m just turning into a grumpy old gay.

As for an appropriate “umbrella” term - I feel LGBT is the common vernacular. People know what you mean. And it’s an acronym; not an offensive slur. To me, queer might as well be f****t (blurring it out because others on here seem to find it more offensive - even though for me its just the same). I hate it.

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For me, it is absolutely on the same level. Maybe it’s a British thing.

ETA: Anyway - I derailed the thread! Sorry! Back to ill-fitting leos…

It is also helpful when you’re a part of the acronym that regularly gets left off. I’m sure not straight, but I’m not LGBT either, and I spend an awful lot of time being told I don’t belong in the broader LGBT community because I’m one of the letters that mostly gets ignored.

I won’t use queer for anyone who doesn’t want for them, but it’s not accurate to say the most common acronym refers to everyone either

I just want to make clear that I have no qualms about anyone using the word to describe them. I just don’t like it being used to describe me (whether me directly, or the group in which I fall within).

I get that. But what “group” are we trying to define? And why do we need it? Can’t we just call ourselves what we are? Surely the needs and wants of the Intersex community are much different than the Lesbian community which are different from the Blind community (and that’s not even to mention the disagreements within those groups). Are we trying to come up with a word that describes everyone who isn’t a white hetrosexual able-bodied cis man? Like, what’s the point?

Happy Chris Hemsworth GIF by Marvel Studios

Yeah I have a bit of this too, not in English cause it’s not my language and I don’t have a strong emotional connection to these words, but in Spanish I sometimes just feel uncomfortable when someone who doesn’t really know me at all uses all these jargony words to talk to or refer to me. It feels like that’s something that comes with trust? It’s not that I feel insulted or something, most of the people that do this are gay themselves, to me it’s just a change of register that I kind of didn’t agree to, that we are now talking to each other on these terms. Wow I sound even grumpier than doug :grinning: :heart_eyes:

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I get the impression it’s an age thing. ‘Queer’ seems to be favoured more with younger people.

Really? I’ve seen the opposite. Queer being more common with older people who took queer studies at University, chanted “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it”, founded Queer Nation, etc.

What era are you talking about there? I was thinking sort of younger X/geriatric millennial as against people in their teens and 20s now, I’ve done that thing of completely leaving out everyone over about 43.

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Maybe I speak more for the 30yo+ gays who didn’t take Queer Studies at University…!


Yes this is totally it for me. I never agreed to the “reclaiming” of this word. So don’t use it to describe me, please!

Side point, I saw a French demonstration on Twitter the other day where they were celebrating the reclamation of the word “slut”. I’m not even a woman and I don’t like it.

I don’t really mind when it’s just a silly TikTok trend and it’s not really meant seriously. What I don’t like is when it makes its way into official government documents (like, “we have received representations from the queer community regarding Law X”). I don’t like it.


Should we do a spin off thread?

We have gotten quite off topic of gymnast social media! LOL